April 1, 2012

It's the first day of April, and a Sunday even.  The sky is mostly blue, and even with the wind it's still quite warm outside.  I like it, for now.
Easter is just around the corner, and my birthday right after that.  Much to do.  I've been stocking my etsy shop with passion, and in between homeschooling, meal planning, trying to get a college degree, and sewing, I'm left with more to-do's (laundry, dishes, animal care, you know).  And on that note, my biggest dog is barking at me to take him outside for a moment.  I just wanted to check in.
Don't forget to read your bible, it's important.  I didn't make the time for about a week, and quickly felt the despair trying to edge it's way back into my mindset.  I'm happy to know how to fix that problem.    Alright, alright...  outside to potty.

Staying Busy.

I do a lot of thinking while I'm sewing.  I think about all kinds of things, and I think of a variety of people I know.  I spend some of my time in prayer.  I usually pray for my secret sister and then a list of people who come to my mind shortly after, but maybe instead I should be praying that in my being productive and sewing up dress after dress, and apron after apron, instead my work will be recognized as something that glorifies Him.  

"She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.  She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.  She speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction is on her tongue.  She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness."  Proverbs 31:24-27

I haven't had the sales I'd like to have with my garments I'm selling.  I feel like I'm not as productive as I should be and although my internet time has slowed down immensely, I still feel idle sometimes.  Maybe I am to carry on, and spend my time sewing in prayer, and maybe I'm just supposed to be productive right now in making things, not so much in selling them.  Maybe my time to sell will come with warmer weather.  Whatever the case, Lord let me be more like this woman of your Word.  Let me spend so much time with you that I am filled with your wisdom, and it pours from my heart to my mouth, and let me be so in love with You that I can't help but share You with everyone I know.  Help me to be strong and of a good courage, not afraid, or weary.  Help me to show You to people, through my productiveness.  Please Lord, verse 31 of this same chapter says, "Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate."  Let this also be my reward, even if not today, please help me to see a hint of reward in what I am doing, and help me to hear your guidance and direction so that I can only do what pleases You.  

The Parable of the Sower

I know that I was going through the verses of the virtuous woman, but I've been looking through seed books, and I can't stop thinking about Matthew 13:1-9.

That same day Jesus went out of the house and sat beside the sea.  And great crowds gathered around him, so that he got into a boat and sat down.  And the whole crowd stood on the beach.  And he told them many things in parables, saying:  "A sower went out to sow.  And as he sowed, some seeds fell along the path, and the birds came and devoured them.  Other seeds fell on rocky ground, where they did not have much soil, and immediately they sprang up, since they had no depth of soil, but when the sun rose they were scorched.  And since they had no root they withered away.  Other seeds fell among the thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked them.  other seeds fell on good soil and produced grain, some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty.  He who has ears, let him hear.  

I remember when I was about 5 or 6.  I went to Children's church every Sunday afternoon while the adults were in the sanctuary having an adult lesson, and there I asked Jesus to come into my heart and live.  Sounds sweet doesn't it?  I remember Mrs. Parsons, the sweet lady who would ask us all to close our eyes and repeat after her, the prayer of salvation, if, of course we felt it in our hearts to do so.  I would squint tight enough that I could still see through the smallest gap in my eyelids, and every Sunday I would see her eyes fixed heavily upon me.  As if she knew that I had only said the prayer the week before because I knew she was watching.  I was a good kid.  I made good choices while I lived at home in my parents house, and while the "soil" of my parents house was rich with nutrients, when I left there I found myself in search of "miracle grow", the easy alternative to daily maintenance, at least as far as I was concerned.  I did what I wanted to do, there was no one who was going to tell me different.  I was an adult for crying out loud, I could very well do what I liked without having to explain my actions to anyone.  Looking back now, it seems very evident that the "miracle grow" solution wasn't working so well.  

I did have moments where I felt a desire to be back where I had been.  My favorite time was while I was walking with God, watching miracles take place, seeing changes, but taking care of the "soil" was so much more work than I had anticipated, and it was just so much easier to be lazy and I could just explain to God later.  

Now, looking back, I wish I'd taken every opportunity to be the person God had wanted me to be from the very beginning of my life.  It's not that hard to study the word of God when you have a heart to please the One who created you for His purpose; to glorify Him.  Nowadays I try to work on "soil" development daily.  Keeping firm roots in the scriptures, praying every chance I get for guidance from the Holy Spirit, and I try to live my life as a testimony to my Heavenly Father. 

Thank you so much Father for bringing me back to your arms.  For helping me see that I was nothing without you.  Help me Lord to be productive.  Thank you for giving me ears to hear.  

T~ 

websites that will shed some light on the importance of Non GMO seeds.

http://www.westerngardeners.com/safe-seed-question-from-a-beginning-gardener.html

http://www.organicaseed.com/?gclid=CN2FnfWinK4CFQOEhwodnS6MIQ

http://www.seedsofdeception.com/Public/BuyingNon-GMO/index.cfm

http://www.victoryseeds.com/

A green monster from my past.

Jealousy is something I struggle with from time to time.  Maybe we all do, or maybe it's just that the way I lived my life previously hasn't always led me to a place where I live confidently today.  My history of mistakes awakens like a green monster peering out of the closet after dark, reminding me that I haven't always been the person I am today.  
Today the giant didn't wait until dark.  It actually made a quick appearance a few days ago, and has been stalking me until this afternoon.  It seemed to want to claim all my attention and bring me into the darkest parts of my soul.  
It isn't the actions of someone else, it is the actions of my own past that cause me to doubt my situations, the one that I love, and the truth of the rock I build my home upon.  


Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. 
Proverbs 3:5-6


For years and years I have justified my own insecurities with excuses of experiences past.  Today I realized my understanding is nothing in comparison to what the Lord has planned for me.  He knows my history and loves me anyway.  He's forgiven me and given me an opportunity to be cleansed, white as snow, whole again as if I'd never suffered the consequence of having been a servant to myself.  




Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Psalm 37:4


How great is our God, that He is able to know our heart even before we are?  He knew that I was going to suffer through these thoughts today and he brought me these verses years ago, knowing that today I would finally understand them.  I cannot go on being angry and defensive if I am going to delight myself in the Lord.  I cannot do both at once. 


If anyone serves me, he must follow me; and where I am, there will my servant be also.  If anyone serves me, the Father will honor him.
John 12:26


How profound to realize that we must give it all up and follow Him.  Why would we want to carry along all the luggage that has made us imperfect anyway?  He's forgiven me, I've no need to remember the person I was before, or to try to justify my judgement on others because I think I know their heart.  


But he was wounded for our transgressions;  he was crushed for our iniquities;  upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed.
Isaiah 53:5


I have heard that when we continue to live according to the sins we've committed before we accepted the gift of grace, we are breaking our Lord's heart.  He has removed that part of us, and if we continue to hang on to it, it is as though we do not trust that He can truly rid us of that which has kept us from Him.  

Thank you Lord.  
You brought these verses to me over 20 years ago, and today reminded me of them, knowing that I would need them.  How amazing is your love for me.  I've never known one like You Father.  Thank you for taking my grief away today.  Lord help me on these days, You know the ones,  to desire You rather than entertain the doubts that satan lays all around me.  I cannot rest assured in the knowledge of my mistakes, but only in the knowledge of Your gift of grace and all of the mercies that you bestow upon me.  How I love you Lord!  How I want to be the one that You desire that I be!  Please continue the work you started in me God.  I want to be the wife, the mother, and the living example you seek that I be.    Forgive me Heavenly Father for not seeking you out sooner.  I took you for granted all of those years that I spent serving myself, and how I wish I could go back and do them all again, with Your will as my foundation.  I know that you use all things for Your glory Lord.  Please use me, in even and especially the situations where I seem to struggle to breathe let alone serve you, and let there be power in my suffering and struggles.  I love you.
T~

Proverbs 31:17

10)  An excellent wife who can find?  She is far more precious than jewels.  11) The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.  12) She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.  13) She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands.  14)  She is like the ships of the merchant;  she brings her food from afar.  15)  She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens.  16)  She considers a field and buys it;  with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.  17) She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong.  18) She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.  Her lamp does not go out at night.  19) She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle.  20) She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy.  21) She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet.  22) She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple.  23) Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land.  24) She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant.  25) Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.  26) She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.  27) She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.  28) Her children rise up and call her blessed;  her husband also, and he praises her:  29) "Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all." 30)  Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.  31) Give her the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.  

How does a woman dress herself with strength?  Can I do that by being a dictator in my home, a "battle axe" so to speak?  I don't think so.  I think we can gather our strength from the word of God and His might alone.


2nd Samuel 22:40  "For you equipped me with strength for the battle;  you made those who rise against me sink under me."


1st Chronicles 16:11  "Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually."


Nehemiah 8:10b  "And do not be grieved, for the joy of the Lord is your strength."


Psalm 28:7  "The Lord is my strength and my shield;  in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him."


Psalm 105:4  "Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually." 


See a pattern here?  Our strength, if like the virtuous woman, should come from the Lord.  We can not do any thing we set our minds to, but we can do all things that the Lord gives us strength to do.  
After last week, my arms were sore, my back hurt, and my feet were in bad shape too.  It wasn't that I had done any thing that was so physical, but I'm certain I was aching as I was beginning to release my fears in a situation to the Lord, my muscles were sore because I had begun to relax them.  I joke that my trust muscles were sore, but I feel that it was really having carried these fears with me for so long, and finally haven given them up to Him, I was able to feel the damage that carrying them with my own strength had done.  He is there to provide us with the courage, faith, and mercies we need to get through any and all situations that come our way.


No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man.  God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.  1st Corinthians 10:13  


Stand up women of God,  STAND UP!  He will be the strength in us.  He will be the one making our arms strong.  There is no video with a six minute work out that can give you more strength than what we will find in Him.

Proverbs 31:16

10)  An excellent wife who can find?  She is far more precious than jewels.  11) The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.  12) She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.  13) She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands.  14)  She is like the ships of the merchant;  she brings her food from afar.  15)  She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens.  16)  She considers a field and buys it;  with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.  17) She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong.  18) She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.  Her lamp does not go out at night.  19) She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle.  20) She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy.  21) She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet.  22) She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple.  23) Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land.  24) She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant.  25) Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.  26) She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.  27) She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.  28) Her children rise up and call her blessed;  her husband also, and he praises her:  29) "Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all." 30)  Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.  31) Give her the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.  


This gal's a planner.  She doesn't just approach life with a "can do" attitude, which our society seems to swear by these days.  She also puts careful consideration into what will be best for her family. I'm pretty sure she prays about these things, and that's what 'careful' implies in this verse.  Her family is growing, and she will consider carefully how she can help meet their needs.
I also read a commentary where it says that "field" is an implication of the scriptures.  In order to receive all of the benefits from the Bible, it must be read, studied, and contemplated with great consideration.  This commentary goes on to read that "with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard"  means that those who are planted firmly in the Word are firmly planted in the house of the Lord. 
What I'm taking from this verse is that we are, as women, not incompetent to serve.  We may not have the same purpose as the men of faith, but we have a purpose to carefully maintain our homes.  I shouldn't be the kind of woman who splurges on a whim, but the kind of woman who plans carefully, with prayer and consideration for what is pleasing and acceptable to my Heavenly Father, and in accordance with that which my husband approves.  
While I watched the news tonight I heard a little girl speaking of a traumatic situation her mother had been involved in.  She mentioned that the example that her mother had set for her in this ordeal was that we can accomplish anything we set our minds to.  That sounds lovely, and it has been a matter of fact in my old behavior.  Fortunately, as a new believer, and an active seeker of wisdom, I have found that that little phrase is missing one HUGE element.  "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" Philippians 1:4.  Without Christ, we cannot do all things, whether we set our minds to it or not.  We can do some things, but if we need a sure source of power, we need to seek Him, with trust and perseverance and His will in mind.  If we are not to buy "the field"  our Lord will guide us in another direction.  If we are not to buy the field right now, He can postpone that opportunity until it is in accordance with His will.  
The second part of this verse is just as important.  With the fruits of her hands she plants the vineyard.  She is consistent in her prayer and preparation.  She is willing to get her hands dirty, knowing that what she is doing is only so that she can glorify her Father, not so that she herself can be glorified.  I think if it were about her, we'd know her name by now.  If we are going to do something, let's do it for the right reasons, with a righteousness of heart, and do it until it's done, not start and finish whenever the desire arises again.  
And on that note, I should probably go finish cleaning the kitchen.  :)


Thank you Lord for making me who I am.  Thank you for softening my heart so that I could hear your words with understanding rather than resentment.  Thank you for choosing me to serve you.  Help me to finish what I start Lord, and to do all that I do with your glory in mind.  

Proverbs 31:15

10)  An excellent wife who can find?  She is far more precious than jewels.  11) The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.  12) She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.  13) She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands.  14)  She is like the ships of the merchant;  she brings her food from afar.  15)  She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens.  16)  She considers a field and buys it;  with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.  17) She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong.  18) She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.  Her lamp does not go out at night.  19) She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle.  20) She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy.  21) She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet.  22) She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple.  23) Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land.  24) She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant.  25) Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.  26) She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.  27) She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.  28) Her children rise up and call her blessed;  her husband also, and he praises her:  29) "Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all." 30)  Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.  31) Give her the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.  


15.  She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens.  


This morning I woke up late.  I had trouble sleeping because of the eczema on my feet, and our new puppy was well rested by one a.m. and was ready to play and chew.  Don't misunderstand and think that I'm complaining.  I like quiet time, whether early in the morning, or late in the evening, or even in the midday.  I just find it ironic that today, being the day for verse 15, I woke up so late.  


This virtuous woman rises while it is yet night~ dedicated to preparing for her family and her helpers.  I imagine she used this time in prayer and communication with God.  I think it would be nearly impossible to do all that she did without reliance on God.  He gives us strength.  Without Him, I am certain she would burn out.  Think of it, they had no microwaves, no automatic ovens, no frozen bread dough from the store.  Of course she had to get up super duper early in order to prepare for the whole day.  I don't think that this means that I am to sleep late because I have the accommodation of electricity and pre-prepared foods.  I think this just means I have more time to prepare in other ways as well.
  
As a homeschooling mom, I can get up early and set up the dining room table as their classroom, make coffee, hot chocolate, and sometimes cinnamon rolls.  I can clean up in attempts to keep my home neat and organized.  I can do my studies before anyone else is even up and moving (that's my favorite part). I think the important part that I observe from this verse is that she is dedicated to making her home a priority.  I imagine that as her maidens saw her working so hard, they must have enjoyed working along side her. For me, it's so much easier to work hard for someone who knows how to work hard, than to work for someone who is a slacker.  
How can I apply this verse to my life?  Well, I'll be setting my alarm a little louder tomorrow, that's a given.  I will choose to dedicate my preparation time to prayer time as well and remember that I cannot do all things without Christ who strengthens me (Phil1:4). I have also made a definite choice to be dedicated to the smooth running home I wish to have, just as the woman in this passage.