Good morning... afternoon if you are really paying attention. Yesterday, sleeping in a little bit, set my whole schedule into a funk. I couldn't seem to pry my eyes open before 10 this morning. That's disappointing because I like to catch up on my studies while everyone else is sleeping, but by ten, my kids are already up and the only one left sleeping is my dear husband (who is not required to get up at any particular time due to the medications he takes). Anyway, today we're looking at verse 12.
10) An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. 11) The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. 12) She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. 13) She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. 14) She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar. 15) She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens. 16) She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. 17) She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong. 18) She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night. 19) She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle. 20) She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy. 21) She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet. 22) She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple. 23) Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land. 24) She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant. 25) Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. 26) She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. 27) She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. 28) Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: 29) "Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all." 30) Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. 31) Give her the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.
12) She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.
This verse, together with verses 10 and 11, are discussing this virtuous woman in her relationship with her husband. We can see that in verse ten when she is referred to as a wife. Being my husband's wife is one of my most rewarding roles. As we study this woman, we see that she does what she can to do good for him. She is not malicious or deceitful. She isn't in it for the money, or what gifts he can give her. She just straight up cares for him. She does her husband good, not harm, every day. It's not about how he treats her and her response to his behavior. It's not about her teaching him little lessons about how to treat a woman. It's about her bringing out the best in him, representing him well, and not being selfish or self-centered at all in her relationship with him. And she maintains this same good behavior every day of her life.
Seems to me that now-a-days, it's nothing to see a woman scolding her husband in public (I've been guilty of that a time or two), or sitting with other women in a coffee shop gossiping about how his actions affected her negatively the night before, or what he did with his friends that made her feel less than wanted or welcome. And usually, in that coffee shop, if you listen closely, you can hear the friends supporting her whole heartedly with words like, "You don't deserve that!", "I can't believe he acted that way, what are you going to do?", or "girl, you better pack his bags and set him straight" all with a tone that brings out the "I'm number one" mentality. It's sad because there is no good in talking poorly about your husband. There is no good in "setting him straight". We are to support our husbands, in their decisions. Sometimes we will be asked our thoughts about what he is about to embark on, but if we are constantly telling him what he's done wrong, how often do you think he will implore the opinion of his wife?
I'm the kind of woman who speaks her mind. Since becoming God's child, I often have to rethink my motives, and remember to do this in LOVE, but I ask a lot of questions and have a hard time keeping my two cents to myself. However, with His help, I am getting a little better at it. That's the thing about God. I think He realizes that we are only human, and He provides us with what we need to pull through those moments of trial. When I gave my heart to Christ, my husband watched me carefully. A few days later he asked me what was going on with me..."are you dying?" he asked. :) "No," I told him, "I am living".
The fight that we'd had, and the struggles we were suffering through at that time was why I'd asked for God's presence in my life. So the first area that needed my attention was in my relationship with my husband.
I have since realized that He is part of everything that I do. When I invited Him to share in my life, I invited Him into every part of my life; not just the ones I could not control.
Here are some other verses I find important to study, even memorize, when it comes to becoming the kind of wife that is good for her husband:
Proverbs 12:4 An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like the rottenness in his bones.
Proverbs 19:13 A foolish son is ruin to his father, and a wife's quarreling is a continual dripping of rain.
Ephesians 5:22 & 23 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.
If we trust that God can work wonders in us, so much that we give ourselves to Him, in attempt to become a beacon of His life. We can trust that by 'submitting' to our husband, we are submitting to God, and we can rest easy in knowing that He will care for us, just as He promised in Jeremiah 29:11.
So, it's not all about us after all. It's about our love for our Heavenly Father, and in turn He can use our love for Him to radiate light to our husband. Hallelujah!
Jehovah, my provider, You have given me a heart to serve You, please use my heart to make an impact on those around me. I ask for you blessing on my marriage. I ask that you give me tenderness and compassion toward my husband even when what he does isn't bringing me comfort and happiness. I ask that you help me to close my mouth when I am about to say something rude or hurtful and give me the ability to love and do him good, instead of to argue. Thank you Lord. You make all things new. You make every thing possible. You are almighty, powerful, and the very source of love in everything. Stay with me Father. In Jesus name I hope to glorify you and in Jesus name I ask all of these things.
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